The Scani Boys are back in the prediction lab, and someone let them near the espresso machine. In this year’s Hyrox Crystal Ball episode, Matt, Brakken, and Deebo sit down with their metaphysical goggles strapped on, ready to gaze deep into the sweaty, sled-pushing abyss that is the 2025 season. If you came here for measured analysis and reserved optimism, you are very lost. If you came here for bold takes, spicy debates, and Deebo throwing shade at Dylan Scott's jiu-jitsu, welcome home.

Let’s unpack the chaos.

Step 1: Revisit Last Year’s Misses (and Brakken’s Ego Boost)

Before hurling new darts at the Hyrox dartboard, the crew revisits their 2024 takes. Brakken, who’s apparently been maligned as “not even a top 10 hybrid talking head,” quietly pulls receipts like a seasoned lawyer in a courtroom drama. He nailed predictions about new faces breaking through, records falling (some of them), and the collapse of certain podium staples.

Jack’s predictions, on the other hand? A masterclass in wishy-washy fortune-telling. “Yes and no” vibes. Perfect for astrology, less so for elite sport. The panel agrees: “Busted.”

But to be fair, everyone had some hits, a few misses, and no one saw Tom Rogers steamrolling into the conversation the way he did. Which just proves the most accurate prediction of all: Hyrox is a beautiful, chaotic mess.

Will the World Records Fall?

Let’s get to the money question: are the men’s and women’s world records going down in 2025?

Matt says no on the men’s side. Between the turf, sled friction, and a lack of time-chasing races, he’s not buying it. But Brakken and Deebo are on the record-breaking bandwagon. Brakken drops some deep analysis comparing Tim Wenisch’s World Championship time to Hunter’s record performance and concludes—despite the slower stations—Tim was right there. Deebo agrees: the men’s record goes down. But on the women’s side? They all say “nope.”

The consensus: Lauren Weeks’ 56:23 was a fire-breathing unicorn of a performance on a lightning-fast course. Nobody's touching it soon. Put it in a museum next to Bo Jackson highlights and the Vince Carter dunk contest.

First-Time World Champs?

Here’s where things get real bold. Brakken predicts we’ll see a first-time men’s world champion this season.

He’s not talking Hunter, Tobias, or even Tim. He’s talking new-new. Someone who hasn’t stood on the top step before. Could it be JK? Dylan? Rylan? Sandy?

Deebo isn’t convinced. JK, maybe. But that’s it. Matt’s on Team Shakeup, though, and agrees a new champ could rise from the elite swamp—especially given how many big names are now full-time athletes. Either way, we’re guaranteed some drama, and we are here for it.

The women’s side? They bet the house that we get another repeat. Lauren, Meg, Linda—one of the OG assassins gets it done again. Respect the throne.

PEDs, Paranoia, and Performance “Enhancement”

Now we’re cooking. Matt drops the hot potato: this is the year someone gets popped for PEDs and it changes a major result.

Brakken agrees that cheating is already happening—it’s just a matter of time until someone’s mask falls off (diuretic pun intended). But he thinks the first positive test won’t hit the podium. It'll be someone outside the top 3, maybe at a major, not Worlds.

Deebo goes full Columbo and points out that nobody’s testing doubles, and randoms aren’t actually that random. Translation: plenty of places to hide if you're playing chemist.

Also, someone accuses Rich Ryan of being "sauced to the ghouls," which is either a brilliant insult or a great name for a band.

Someone’s Getting Punched

In what might be the episode’s most unanimously supported prediction, Brakken boldly states: someone is throwing hands this year.

Not elbows. Not shoulder bumps. Not passive-aggressive grunts. A real-deal, caught-on-camera punch. It might be athlete-to-athlete. Might be athlete-to-judge. Either way, tempers are boiling, sled lanes are congested, and judging inconsistency has people ready to snap like dry resistance bands.

Matt agrees—judges are just doing their best, but the rising stakes, amateur hour enforcement, and packed run courses are a cocktail for chaos. Deebo backs it too. We might need security and some blue mats for impromptu BJJ.

If someone does get punched, may it be caught on camera and may Dave Claxton be in the vicinity with a rear naked choke ready.

Rule Changes Are Inevitable

Brakken predicts that the burpee broad jump standard will get changed mid-season. And honestly? Nobody even tries to argue. Everyone’s seen Hyrox adjust rules on the fly before—wall ball counters at Worlds, the infamous “no knee stand-up” rule that quietly died in Amsterdam, etc.

They agree it’s coming. The rule will change. It will confuse everyone. And we’ll still be arguing about it on Instagram six months later.

Regionals, Roll-Downs & Relay Dreams

Deebo turns serious analyst and drops some insights on the new regional championship format. He predicts that Warsaw, the final major, will roll all the way down to 12th place for Worlds qualification. His logic? Great timing, lots of Europeans, and the “wear-and-tear” factor on courses later in the season.

Brakken and Matt are skeptical of the 12th-place call but agree with the direction: Regionals are going to become a bigger deal and likely get more qualifying slots over time.

Matt also throws out that relays could soon become an official qualification route for age group Worlds. Deebo and Brakken immediately dump cold water on that—too messy, too chaotic, too much spandex—but acknowledge that sold-out relay heats are proof Hyrox is definitely monetizing the crap out of them.

No New Major Winners?

One of Matt’s boldest takes: no new major winners this season.

On the men’s side, maybe. But on the women’s side? He’s convinced the “Big Three” of Lauren, Meg, and Michaela will protect their turf with a vengeance. Brakken and Deebo push back and wager Tim or Linda might crash the party early, but Matt’s not budging. He’s even willing to bet a 50K (that’s kilometer, not dollars… we think) to prove it.

That’s commitment. And probably chafing.

A Real Injury Is Coming

Injury talk is never fun—but it’s real. Brakken believes we’ll see the first serious, mid-race injury at a major or World Championship this year. Something catastrophic. An ACL, Achilles, shoulder—whatever part of the body says “nope” when you push too hard for too long.

It’s a grim take, but given the training volume, overreaching, and the intensity of race-day execution, it's not outlandish. Still, Deebo and Matt hope he’s wrong. (We all do.)

CrossFit Invasion?

Deebo tries to sneak in a sleeper pick: a CrossFit Games male athlete will go sub-60 in a Hyrox this year.

Brakken and Matt laugh him out of the studio. If Ricky Garard—arguably the fittest bad boy on Earth—can’t crack 60, they argue, no one’s doing it clean on their first try while still doing Fran and Murph on rest days. Deebo name-drops Jeff Adler like it’s a mic drop, but without a public commitment, the guys aren’t buying.

Final Prediction: This Format Is Changing

Matt’s final call: this is the last year Hyrox uses the current “major winner gets a golden ticket” format. Why? Because it makes no sense for someone to be auto-qualified for every major based on a race they won 14 months ago. Sorry Ronkovich, but it’s true.

He predicts they’ll tighten the time windows, reduce the roll-downs, and give regionals more weight. Brakken agrees, mostly. Deebo? He’s skeptical they’ll actually do anything that logical.

The Final Word

In the end, this episode is less a crystal ball and more a lava lamp of chaos—always bubbling, always unpredictable, and somehow mesmerizing. The Hyrox world is growing faster than its own rulebook, and these guys are here for it.

From doping drama and judging meltdowns to first-time winners and a likely fight on camera—this might be the most unpredictable season yet.

So buckle up. Follow the newsletter. Subscribe to the pod. And if you’re a CrossFitter planning to run a 56, just… maybe calibrate your assault runner first.