Ever dreamed of chasing a Hyrox PR in Berlin or sipping espresso post-race in Paris? Welcome to the ultimate Race Brain Course Bracket, where stats, sass, and sled pushes collide.

Hosted by the ever-entertaining Matt Mason, joined by the data king Jack Bauer and snack enthusiast Michelle Navaro, this episode of Race Brain pits global Hyrox venues head-to-head in a battle of PR potential, travel appeal, and sheer race vibes. Spoiler: The final decision involved a spin of the infamous Wheel of Names—because, let's face it, logic alone is overrated.

Here’s your full recap of the chaos, city-by-city, and why Phoenix (yes, Phoenix!) managed to upset the legendary Berlin.

Ranking Criteria: More Than Just Fast Times

Race Brain set out clear(ish) guidelines to crown their winner:

  • PR Potential: Are you setting personal records, or are you gasping for air at altitude?
  • Travel Appeal: Will you enjoy yourself after surviving the sled push?
  • Chaos Factor: Enter Wheel of Names for when the decision-making gets too logical.

It's Hyrox, after all—chaos is practically in the rule book.

North America: Battle of the Sled States

Top Picks: Chicago, Phoenix, Vancouver, DC
Winner: Phoenix

Chicago, everyone's favorite PR paradise, seemed unbeatable. Fast course, easy travel, iconic venue—it’s practically the homecoming king of Hyrox. Yet somehow, Chicago felt a little... predictable.

Cue Phoenix. Hosting inside an NFL stadium, promising warmth in the dead of winter, and rumored to feature a certified elite course, Phoenix surged from dark horse to the regional favorite. Las Vegas? Branded "smelly and overpriced," it didn't even stand a chance.

Phoenix emerged victorious—sunshine, stadium vibes, and poolside recovery. Who can argue?

Rest of World: Jet Lag, Humidity, and Surprise Picks

Top Picks: Sydney, Yokohama, Cape Town, Hong Kong
Winner: Yokohama

Sydney, despite being stunning, got dinged hard for travel logistics—20+ hour flights and jet lag nightmares. Cape Town promised epic scenery but ultimately couldn’t edge out Asia's contenders.

Yokohama took the crown. Japan's impeccable infrastructure, vibrant culture, bullet trains, and unmatched food scene made it irresistible. Despite Singapore’s enticing outdoor stadium, Yokohama’s mix of culture, efficiency, and accessibility gave it the edge over Hong Kong.

Western Europe: Style, Speed, and Sweat

Top Picks: Paris, London, Stockholm, Glasgow
Winner: Paris

Stockholm was enticing with its World Championship buzz, but Paris's Grand Palais took the cake. Elegant yet intimidating, Paris offered the ultimate Hyrox venue—majestic architecture, electric atmosphere, and a perfectly challenging course.

Glasgow and Dublin brought strong arguments—Guinness and Graham Holiday are tough to beat—but ultimately Paris won out. The crew was swayed by post-race croissants and sophisticated vibes, despite Matt’s caution about cigarette-and-croissant breakfasts.

Central & Eastern Europe: PR Heaven Meets Culture Clash

Top Picks: Berlin, Barcelona, Rome, St. Gallen
Winner: Berlin

No surprises here. Berlin—known universally as the fastest Hyrox course—ran away with this bracket. The historic airport course with straightaways primed for record-breaking times left Barcelona’s Mediterranean charm in the dust.

Rome promised incredible culture and pasta-fueled recovery, but Berlin’s iconic reputation was too powerful. Jack even brought the hard numbers: Berlin consistently delivered an overwhelming number of top 100 times globally. It's not just a fast course—it’s THE fast course.

Final Four Face-Off: Phoenix, Yokohama, Paris, Berlin

Down to the wire, these four cities represented the best of the best:

  • Yokohama vs. Phoenix: Accessibility and logistics clinched it for Phoenix. The promise of easy travel, warm weather, and stadium excitement narrowly edged out Yokohama's cultural allure.
  • Paris vs. Berlin: This was the true heavyweight match. Paris had style and the Grand Palais; Berlin had gritty charm and unmatched PR potential. Ultimately, Berlin's legendary status secured its spot.

🚩 Final Round: Phoenix vs. Berlin

The ultimate Hyrox showdown came down to:

  • Berlin: Proven track record, guaranteed PR, historical venue.
  • Phoenix: New kid on the block, warm weather, unique stadium experience.

And when logic failed, chaos prevailed—cue Wheel of Names.

The Wheel Decides: Phoenix Wins!

Yes, you read correctly. After intense debate and analytical paralysis, Matt resorted to the Wheel of Names to settle this climatic clash. The wheel spun, hearts raced, and Phoenix—against all odds—emerged victorious.

The panel was stunned, excited, and slightly worried about Rich Ryan’s reaction to this outcome. Phoenix's unique stadium promise, warm January vibes, and easy logistics somehow defeated Berlin’s proven speed factory.

Final Rankings:

🥇 Phoenix: Stadium hype, warm winters, and accessible travel.

🥈 Berlin: Still the undisputed PR capital, fast times guaranteed.

🥉 Paris: Grand Palais luxury meets unforgettable race atmosphere.

🏅 Yokohama: Culture-rich, efficient, and an Asian travel dream.

Final Thoughts & Friendly Roasting

  • Chicago: Lost its shine—maybe next year?
  • Vegas: Got cancelled—sorry, not sorry.
  • Berlin: Still Hyrox royalty despite upset.
  • Phoenix: Enjoy this win—you earned it (kind of).

Listeners, brace yourselves—Race Brain may get roasted online for this decision. And they welcome it. After all, chaos is part of the charm.

As always, subscribe to Race Brain for more debates, questionable decisions, and pure entertainment. Drop your favorite Hyrox city in the comments. Until next time, remember:

"It’s not about the destination—it’s about arguing loudly and spinning the Wheel of Names."

Grit and chaos forever.